Web Design, Weightloss, and Outdoor Running!

Hello folks! It’s Friday! I am relaxing at home tonight working on my web portfolio design and watching Ghost Hunters.

I don’t really talk about it much, but I am a graphic design student, and I specialize in web design and front-end development. Recently, I have been working with WordPress development. Basically, I have been customizing WordPress as a content management system for a website. All of this has gotten me thinking about this website. I am considering redoing the design and moving it to a “real” domain, like underneathsarah.com or something of that nature. Mostly, I am embarrassed that I am using a template from WordPress for this site! I’m a designer and my own website is so….boring! So anyway, tonight I have been working on my own portfolio site, and I think over Christmas break I will get around to redoing this site. I’m actually pretty excited about the design possibilities, and I want it to look really cute and cartoony. I guess I will be spending my break illustrating scales and measuring tape for a “weightloss” motif! Haha!

I have been back in the gym this week, and I am pretty proud of that. I’ve been drinking my Green Monsters for breakfast, avoiding carbs later at night, and getting a full night’s sleep! As a result, I’ve felt refreshed and happy. I am also looking forward to a loss on the scale this coming Monday!

Finally, I made up my mind tonight that I am going to attempt outdoor running tomorrow. I plan to drive down to the beach of Lake Michigan, park my car in the visitor parking, and run the trail along the water for 3 miles. I’m going to set my pace and see if I can keep up my speed without going too quickly and tiring myself out! We’ll see how it goes. I’m feeling a little bored with the treadmill running, and I think running by the lake will be just the thing to spice up my exercise.

That’s about it with me! My last Final is Tuesday, and I drive home to Indiana to see my mom and brother on Wednesday. Then, Saturday, I fly to Florida to see my dad and step-mom. It will be a week-long trip of seeing family and doing nothing by playing video games and coding websites. Hooray! I will undoubtedly be checking in her over the break!

Happy Holidays!

A rough beginning but a solid ending.

Just a quick check-in: This week started out pretty rough, but after a few days of struggling, I am back on track. Eating super healthy, counting points and exercising daily.

I even picked back up at the tanning bed (not healthy, I know, but it’s only in time for new years!)

I am hoping for a loss on Monday, and I’m pretty confident. Tonight I am going to watch a few movies with a friend and have a few low calorie drinks. Should be fun!

Tomorrow I am going shopping for a NYE dress and finishing up some homework. It should be a pretty good day too!

Biggest Loser & Stuff!

I’m currently watching The Biggest Loser. I seriously love this show. The positivity is so wonderful to see, and since it’s the finale, everyone is so happy! It’s definitely helping to get my spirits up tonight!

I’ve struggled through yet another week this week. I continued to binge until yesterday, when I get things back under control. Today I did well and at healthy. I definitely know that I am struggling because of a few specific things.

• Finals – I’m awake about 20 hours a day working on various projects and running from here to there. I haven’t been working in time to eat healthy. I’ve also been putting off going to the grocery for lack of time. Having few healthy options int he house makes everything so much harder.
• Lack of exercise – because I’ve been so busy, I haven’t made the time for the gym. It’s about 50/50 as far as times I *really* didn’t have time and times I was just too lazy to go. Tomorrow morning I am back at the gym kicking my own ass into gear. I WILL NOT backtrack. I have come too far to watch it slip away.
• Self-confidence/self-doubt issues – not sure why, but my mental state has take a HUGE hit. I’m guessing it’s due in large part to the lack of healthy food and the lack of exercise. In fact, massive amounts of exercise pretty much cured my bingeing and mild depression over the last 6 months. It’s not really a surprise that when I stopped these over the last 2 weeks, I really suffer.

After all, what I’ve learned is that all of the above go hand-in-hand. I’ve got to work it for it to work for me! Tomorrow will be even better than today. I am making that promise to myself!

Having a bad day…

I did pretty well over Thanksgiving, because I went to the gym every day during break – in fact a few days I went twice. Unfortunately, that made me feel like I had a license to eat. Since I worked out a lot, I didn’t gain any weight. Sadly, I did get used to that feeling of being full. What I’ve learned is that I can never be full. When I get full, instead of satisfied, a switch flips in my head and I become the old me. It usually takes a few days, and in some cases even a week or more to get back to normal eating habbits. That is what happened after Thanksgiving.

Today, feeling stressed from school, I ate…and ate….and ATE. I have probably eaten 4000+ calories today. Total, 100%, complete binge eating.

I was supposed to do 5k tonight, and I didn’t even go to the gym. I sat around and ate chocolate. I’m feeling really bummed out, and I’m not exactly sure why. I also notice that I am feeling nervous, antsy, and my mind keeps darting to drinking or eating more. That clues me in on the fact that I am trying to avoid something. Not sure what it is though. I just feel bad and down

The time I spent at my dad’s house over the holiday was kinda messed up as well because I stayed up until about 2-3am working on school/work projects and then woke up around 8 to do family stuff each day. We literally never stopped – going here and there doing things. I was so tired when I got home, and I still haven’t been able to get back to a normal sleep routine. I just feel like crap. I’m eating bad, not fueling my body properly, not exercising, and oversleeping to make up for lack of sleep. I haven’t drank water in a day because I keep drinking diet coke. Good lord, I am a mess.

Tomorrow I am getting back on track with a clear mind. I am going to drink a lot of water tonight and try to just chill out and give myself a break for the night. My stress level is at about an 8 or 9, and I need to relax. Words cannot express how happy I will be once this semester is over.

Watching The Biggest Loser tonight for some motivation. Tomorrow I think I will The Shred with Jillian to kickstart my worksouts again!

I’m baaaack!

Thanks to Kim I am back. I had been meaning to get back on here, but I kept putting it off. I probably would have continued to put it off too!

Anyway, I have been working the program and exercising like crazy and as of this morning’s weigh in I am resting at 208.2 pounds. That means I’ve lost about 7 pounds since I last blogged. I am happy with that, and I am excited because I went down another point on weight watchers to 27 points a day! I haven’t had 27 points on the program since I was about 20!

I am tentatively running in my first 5k on the 12th of december! I am excited about it, and I just need to make sure it fits into my schedule.

The semester is almost over and I am SO HAPPY about that. I have been ridiculously busy, and it’s really been stressing me out. I am looking forward to new years, and I am looking for a dress! I want to lose another 5 pounds before that night so I can look extra special! For the evening a few friends and I are going to be in Chicago at The Palmer and party-hopping all night. I’ve never done anything that special before, so it will be interesting to see how it goes!

That’s about it with me! I am making a commitment to be back and in blogging action from this point on, since I think reading blogs and writing them really helps keep my chin up!

Where have I been?

I find that when my blogging slacks, my weight loss slacks. I have had a busy/rough couple of weeks. Today will be my first day back in the gym in a week, and i gained 2.8 pounds IN ONE WEEK. I am back at 215 and very frustrated. I ate very badly for about 4 days in a row, but I am back in the game. I’m ready to keep on getting those numbers down.

Also, a fellow blogger posted a great post that really hit home. I thought I would link it:

http://run4change.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/taking-care-of-ourselves/

 

What I’ve got to say – to myself.

I was sitting here, still feeling really crappy (see last post for explanation). Then I started thinking about how I am still new to this “loving myself” concept. Before, the slightest upset would send me spinning off my axis. Over the last few months, I have done a great job of protecting myself. I don’t go out much anymore, and I’m surrounded by real friends/family. Then, last week I let someone rock my boat. I think that instead of letting this throw me off plan and get me down, I need to use it as a learning experience.

Here’s what I know about the situation, and how I will(or will not) let it affect me:

1. I was going to be at a party with people I didn’t know. That scared the hell out of me, so I drank too much. What I learned from that situation is that even nervous Sarah is better than wasted Sarah. I need to face my fear of public situations head on and show my true colors. I am fun to talk to and my opinions and thoughts are great. I need to show people that.
2. If I do happen to make a mistake, a bad impression, upset someone – I can’t let it ruin me. I can’t always control how people think of me. Sometimes they don’t get me or they misunderstand me. I can’t let that spin me off my axis and send me hurling into the misery of regret, loneliness and self-doubt. No one is interested in a sappy, needy mess. I don’t want to be that. I will only become that if I let other people affect me to an unhealthy degree. I am not going to do that anymore.
3. Now for the hard part – pick it back up and dust it off. Keep on trucking. Maybe I built things up, maybe things weren’t perfect, maybe I got it twisted. Maybe someone else did – either way, there are other people, other places, other times, when I will shine and it will be awesome. Unfortunately, that one party wasn’t one of those places and times.
4. I have to “do me.” I’m the only me I’ll ever have, and I’m the only me I’ve got to work with. I am going to put the best face forward, keep my attitude positive. I’m a great person when I want to be, and I consciously choose to be.

We’ll see what the future has to offer. I can do this, I can keep moving forward. I am worth it.

Really, really bad week.

So last week was supposed to fun, right? As it turns out, it was terrible. I was overworked to a point where I slept about 4 hours a night and couldn’t find the time to eat or run. I haven’t done a run in 7 days, and I feel SO out of it. I weighed myself this morning, and I lost 4.4 pounds this week because of the lack of food. I have been running on coffee and the occasional snack. I don’t even want to know how bad I killed my metabolism. I’m sure at least half of that weight was muscle as well.

Today I have to work on getting caught up with work and school. I also need to get back in the gym. I ate breakfast, and I am going to work back into eating my usual small, frequent meals.

In addition to all of my outrageous workload, I threw a party for my roommate and had a little too much to drink. We invited people who were friends as well as people from her work, and I completely embarrassed myself in front of them. I bothered and bugged them…and hugged two of them…ugh it was a NIGHTMARE. I was “that girl”….”drunk girl.” I am humiliated. In addition to just feeling really foolish, their reaction totally killed my confidence. I apologized over the internet, but who knows if I will ever be able to see them again to redeem myself. Like they say, you can’t take back a first impression. I thought maybe they would hang with us again. Since most of our friends moved away after school, we could definitely benefit from a few extra people to hang around. Turns out they really were super turned off by me, and we just politely saying “don’t worry about.” They never offered to hang again, though.

I am feeling really down. I hate to complain, but I feel like I really messed things up and ruined my friend’s birthday. I blew my chance at friendship with some cool people, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t understand why simple things like being a friendly person and acting normal at a party are SO HARD for me. I don’t understand why I can’t just be a normal person. I feel like I’ve taken one step forward and two steps back.

Oh wow…already a new week!

I lost another pounds this morning, so I am pleased. I broke my 2 pound a week streak, but ah well.

This week I am going to be BUSY. I have a presentation on Friday, paper proposal on Tuesday, final project due on wednesday and my roommates birthday party Friday night! We invited about 20 people and got AWESOME decorations. We’re making tons of food and having delicious drinks. I am really looking forward to it!

Tomorrow if my first run of this week, and I move my time from 30 minutes to 32. I am getting so close to completing the 5k, I might see if I can finish it tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes

I am anticipating a slightly slow week on the blogging, because I am out of this world busy. We’ll see though. Everyone have an awesome week!

Couch to 5k [COMPLETED]

Well folks, I did it. I never thought I could have, but I did. I ran for 30 minutes tonight. That is about 2.7 miles for my speed. I felt sick the last 3 minutes, but I held out. It was hard, but I can definitely do it again, and again. Next week, I am going to up it to 32 minutes and try to get to 40 minutes before I start working on speed maybe. Haven’t quite decided yet.

Today is an exciting day. One I NEVER thought would come. 3-months-ago-me would be so surprised.